Brave Together

Unlike physical health, experiencing mental health challenges often comes with a lot of vulnerability and sensitivity, which can leave people feeling less than ready to share.

Everybody has off days or even off stretches of days, but when interference becomes persistent, then it’s important to take note. Areas in which you may notice change: Changes in appearance, mood, speech, behavior, their relationships, their academic performance, their level of engagement with hobbies and things they enjoy doing, sleep patterns or even their physical health and hygiene.​

While some people might find that starting a conversation with a friend in the midst of everyday life, like at the cafeteria or at the gym, is helpful – be mindful that what your friend shares may be overheard in public places. Having a private talk is safest.

Be well fed, rested, calm and alert
Be prepared to ​fully listen
Silence your cell phone (and put it away)​
Respect ​privacy
Don't make promises you can't keep​ (regarding safety)

The first tip is to be as concrete and specific as possible about what you have noticed. It is harder for your friend to dismiss your inquiry with an “I’m ok” if they are asked to recognize the changes or behaviors you point out.

The best way to show compassion is to simply listen for words and emotions, rather than starting to think about how you might fix something. ​Feeling heard can be very powerful and healing.

Validating feelings doesn't have to be hard, and it doesn't even have to involve a lot of words. Nodding your head and maintaining eye contact when someone is sharing something vulnerable with you can be very validating.

Sometimes you can do all the right things and still meet resistance. If you do, it’s OK. Don’t push hard if someone isn’t ready to share, it’s more important to keep the door open. Stay connected and check on them periodically.

Exercise, meditation, volunteering, etc. – support their form of self-care and even offer to join them in activities that help them in their journey.

It is not your responsibility to be an expert or clinician. Be prepared to share local resources available at your school or community where they can go to seek real help. Also encourage them to save a crisis text line​ in their phone.​

ReachOut is the leading mental health service in Australia supporting young people during tough times.

Youthline is a “with youth, for youth” that supports young people throughout Aotearoa New Zealand.